Parenting is a lonely business. Humans are meant to be supported by other humans and although our towns, cities and lives have evolved in leaps, our brains have not. We still need a village. A network around us to support, motivate and guide. The reality is though, life is busy for everyone and not many people have support systems like family on hand or friends in exactly the same locale and stage of life as us. A parent mentor is a brilliant mix of support, allyship and guidance. Someone who has answers to your questions, and is able to challenge some of your unconscious assumptions and the folklore we think is based on fact. If you have been thinking about why should a parent use a parenting mentor then let’s explore these factors to help you decide if it is the right path for you:
A parent mentor understands the tremendous workload that comes with parenting
The weight of decisions and the consequences of those decisions that reach into other areas of your life can feel overwhelming. By having the support of a parenting mentor they can help you to weigh up those decisions and forge the right path ahead for you and your family.
Why should a parent use a parenting mentor - for non judgmental support that is focused entirely on your set of circumstances.
Friends and family can be absolutely brilliant, but their advice can be loaded with assumptions based on their own experiences or can be tinged with a competitiveness that doesn’t tell the whole story of what would be helpful or achievable for you. A parenting mentor is an independent specialist that can empathise with your situation and work with you to create strategies and a plan that isn’t based on personal history, cultures or preconceptions around your ability
A parenting mentor can support you on your parenting journey as your child ages
There is a lot of parenting support for when you first become a parent, When you may really need it however is throughout your child’s school years, not just the baby stage. As a society we react differently to babies than we do the toll of everyday relentless parenting of a 9yr old!
A parenting mentor focuses on the parent. Not just the child
Yes, the focus is on parenting, but actually individual support that sees you as a whole person with wants and needs and aspirations not just for your parenting and your children, but for yourself as well. There is a tendency in parenting support to work solely with the child and focus on their behaviour, a key reason why you should use a parenting mentor is that they will look at your impact too so that a truly holistic and comprehensive approach can be made for the best way forward, depending on your needs and circumstances. When you choose the right parenting mentor, you essentially gain access to a ‘critical best friend’ who has your interests at the forefront of the discussion, so you can feel safe to explore your thinking and your biases.
Related: Do I need a parenting mentor to help with my child’s behaviour?
Why should a parent use a parenting mentor - for the mental wellbeing of the parent
A parent mentor brings positive mental wellbeing benefits to the parent getting the support. The very first thing I do as part of my services is listen. The very nature of being heard is really powerful for calming our stress responses. This directly impacts everyone else in the family home. Find out more about me and how I work by clicking here. One of the key elements to working with a parenting mentor like myself is that you get to benefit from knowledge that is not just about your child and a parenting decision in the moment, but holding the space for you to be able to think through decisions for the future.
A parenting mentor can help you beyond just your parenting skills
By working with specialist support you can learning and experience some of the methods that will elevate not just your parenting skills but your communication skills as well. If you have been having a challenging time with your relationship with your child then this may have had a knock on impact on your overall confidence and ability to handle situations. You can learn techniques that can help with that, which has a compound impact on your parenting too!
Using an independent parenting mentor gives you choice and a bespoke approach
An important part of working with an independent parenting mentor is that you get to pick the person that is right for your family. We all have different values and perspectives, when it comes to parenting it’s exactly the same. Having someone who you don’t have to explain why attachment concepts are important to you means you can relax into the advice as it will come from the same value base. The bespoke nature of the work also means you really do have the best advice options for you and what is happening in your world, not a cookie cutter approach that you may get from online programmes or books.
Confidentiality
The benefit of working with a parenting mentor is that you can share your real fears with no worries that it will be used to manipulate you or belittle you in future conversations. That is a special connection that you can rely upon throughout the whole process of working together which makes the concept of using a parenting mentor both unique and very special.
Why should a parent use a parenting mentor
If you have been finding parenting challenging, or if you are worried about your relationship with your child and being the best parent you can be, investing in the support of a parenting mentor can make a huge difference to how you feel as a family. Get in touch today if you are looking for support to see if there is a good fit. Based in Wales but covering further afield, I can help you on your with what should be a fulfilling and joyful journey as a parent!
Rach xx